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Dating Jokes and Relationship Humor!
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Love Related Jokes and Relationship Humor Archive
Free-Online-Personal-Ads.com would like to welcome you to our funny relationship humor and jokes archive! Literally hundreds of spam free jokes, pictures and parodies for your enjoyment.
A humorous look at how men and women differ via our light hearted battle of the sexes!
We also feature interesting sex facts and statistics , amazing world sex records and related trivia. All humor pages are pop up free and unlike most every other site, we don't attempt to download any funky spyware programs to your computer or enable java scripts to track your movements.
Find the largest compilation of jokes and satire that will tickle your funny bone, and maybe even make you think! Though most the archive is rather tame compared to most other sites with similiar content, the material is intended for adults only, 18 years of age and older. We hope you get a nice giggle or two and thank you for dropping by!
Wise
Sex Sayings compiles groovy little sexual anecdotes for those seeking sexually fulfilling enlightenment by
the worlds top sex authority.
Soft core photo personal ads with 8 million registered members, and 12,000 new sexy singles joining each day. Caters the young to mid age singles demographic that are not afraid to show a little skin. The rockin' chat rooms are also included with your free profile.
Confucious take long nap after long whack - wake and say...
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1) Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother.
2) How do you embarrass an archeologist? Give him a tampon and ask him which period it came from.
3) What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.
4) What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off? Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.
5) What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
6) What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
7) What is the biggest problem for an atheist? No one to talk to during orgasm.
8) What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass? A mechanic.
9) Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
10) Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony? She is the one who can eat the last donut.
11) Jewish dilemma: Free PORK.
12) The three words most hated by men during sex: "Are you in?"
13) The three words women hate to hear when having sex: "Honey, I'm home!"
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We also feature interesting sex facts and statistics , amazing world sex records and related trivia. All humor pages are pop up free and unlike most every other site, we don't attempt to download any funky spyware programs to your computer or enable java scripts to track your movements.
Find the largest compilation of jokes and satire that will tickle your funny bone, and maybe even make you think! Though most the archive is rather tame compared to most other sites with similiar content, the material is intended for adults only, 18 years of age and older. We hope you get a nice giggle or two and thank you for dropping by!
Wise
Sex Sayings compiles groovy little sexual anecdotes for those seeking sexually fulfilling enlightenment by
the worlds top sex authority.Wise Sex Proverbs to Live and make Love By!
Honorable Wise Horny Old Confucious say...- ...woman sitting in jelly have her ass in jam.
- ...man with penis in peanut butter, fucking nuts.
- ...man who puts penis in vaccuum cleaner, get sucked off.
- ...boy who lay girl on hill, not on level.
- ...man who lose key to girlfriend apartment, get no new-key!
- ...he who finger girl during period, get caught red-handed.
- ...he who smoke pot, choke on handle.
- ...woman who wear g-string, high on crack!
- ...he who stand on toilet, high on pot!
- ...boy who go to bed with sex problem on mind, wake up with solution on-hand!
- ...girl who bathe in vinegar, walk around with sour-puss!
- ...man with hand in bush, not nessarily trimming shrubs!
- ...man who masturbate into cash register, soon come into money!
- ...he who masturbate, screw only himself!
- ...he who walks thru airplane door sideways is going to Bangkok!
- ...dumb man climb tree to get cherry, wise man spread limbs!
Soft core photo personal ads with 8 million registered members, and 12,000 new sexy singles joining each day. Caters the young to mid age singles demographic that are not afraid to show a little skin. The rockin' chat rooms are also included with your free profile.
Confucious take long nap after long whack - wake and say...
- 1. Woman who goes to man's apartment for snack, gets titbit.
- 2. Man who lay woman on ground, get peace on earth.
- 3. Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding the bag.
- 4. Man who kisses girl's behind, gets crack in face.
- 5. Passionate kiss like spider web-lead to undoing of fly.
- 6. Man with holes in pocket, feels cocky all day.
- 7. Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.
- 8. Virginity like balloon-one prick, all gone.
- 9. Girls who rides bicycle, peddles ass all over town.
- 10. He who farts in church, sits in own pew.
- 11. Baseball all wrong-man with four balls can't walk.
- 12. Man who live in glass house, dress in basement.
- 13. Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.
- 14. Man with penis in peanut butter is f***ing nuts.
- 15. Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.
- 16. Man who drop watch in toilet, bound to have shitty time.
- 17. Man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent.
- 18. Man who go to bed with sex on mind wake up with solution in hand.
Celebrity Quotes About Sex and Relationships
Ah, yes divorce...from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams
Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself. - Roseanne
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal
You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!" - Dave Barry
According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful. - Jay Leno
In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for the Wonder Bra. Is that really a problem in this country? Men not paying enough attention to women's breasts? - Jay Leno
We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms." - Elayne Boosler
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller
There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So, what's the problem? - Jay Leno
When the sun comes up, I have morals again. - Elayne Boosler
There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked." - Jerry Seinfeld
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. - George Carlin
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house. - Lewis Grizzard
The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house. - Jeff Foxworthy
Ah, yes divorce...from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams
Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself. - Roseanne
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal
You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!" - Dave Barry
According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful. - Jay Leno
In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for the Wonder Bra. Is that really a problem in this country? Men not paying enough attention to women's breasts? - Jay Leno
We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms." - Elayne Boosler
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. - Phyllis Diller
There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So, what's the problem? - Jay Leno
When the sun comes up, I have morals again. - Elayne Boosler
There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked." - Jerry Seinfeld
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. - George Carlin
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house. - Lewis Grizzard
The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house. - Jeff Foxworthy
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Sexual Stupidity - What Not to Say!
1) Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother.
2) How do you embarrass an archeologist? Give him a tampon and ask him which period it came from.
3) What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.
4) What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off? Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.
5) What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
6) What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
7) What is the biggest problem for an atheist? No one to talk to during orgasm.
8) What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass? A mechanic.
9) Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
10) Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony? She is the one who can eat the last donut.
11) Jewish dilemma: Free PORK.
12) The three words most hated by men during sex: "Are you in?"
13) The three words women hate to hear when having sex: "Honey, I'm home!"
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Defining Free Memberships All our reviewed dating sites and matchmaking services offer various types of free memberships or trails. Free can have mean serveral meanings, however. The norm? It means you can place personal ads, search profiles for those that interest you. Some have 3 day to one week trials then you have to pony up to stay online. Others have lifetime free memberships but you must pay to contact. Please read any TOS agreements before committing to any site so you're clear on what promotions are being offered, and when they expire if applicable. You can read our entire article about it here
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